ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This baby is an asshole
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
