Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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