Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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