I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
