I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
