Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize