Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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