what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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