I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
