sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
