physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
