I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
