i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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