Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize