fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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