sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
