did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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