So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
