Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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