You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Houston, we have a blender
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
