First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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