I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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