Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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