marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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