that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
