When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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