Yo dont text me then not text me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
