Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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