It's like God shit irony all over that family
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Come share oat with me in your robe
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
