That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
