I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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