i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
