He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
