I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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