from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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