he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
