Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
