Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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