I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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