so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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