____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
