Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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