That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
home. puking in laundry basket.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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