i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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