do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
