I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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