he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
