I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
