Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize