I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
