i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
