Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
