the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
