I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
