Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we're so committed to being not committed
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize