p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize