non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
