so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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