You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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