Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
