i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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